Pregnancy Update: 28 Weeks

Fleeting me by: above you find a more current ultrasound image of our little man. He has taken on the concept of sucking his thumb, praying that doesn't stick! I know from personal experience the expense and toll it can take, bad habit! With all three of my previous kids anxiousness and even i dare say extreme lack of patience took me over. Even with saylor, whom I had at 28 weeks! And yes i felt guilty about being so impatient, at least with her. But I really have never been good at pregnancy at all. It has been hard for me to enjoy in past experiences. BUT this time around the experience really has taken on a new role. As delivery date max {52 days from now} approaches I actually find myself reluctant to get there and full of patience. I dont feel at all ready to finish this opportunity. Every step of the way I have just been amazed at this miracle and blessing and there is little I enjoy more then just feeling him move inside of me. I will admit I am uncomfortable and in a great deal of pain, some of which i guess to be normal and some of which is likely due to my not capable of being pregnant body. I dont feel ready emotionally, physically, or even in material ways. Most of all as ready as i might be spiritually i also dont want to see that spiritual moment change, even if it changes to something just as beautiful. I suppose i am far busier this time around as well, we are as a family actually. this is making time fly!

Heat: I have never been really prego in the summer. I guess I would have been to some degree with saylor but she came 3 months early. and i just touched the summer with stock. I cant believe how much the heat makes a difference in how i feel! Frankly i have been miserably hot a great deal of moments in the last few weeks! and i wonder how people do this? really? i am pretty set on being the least amount clothed as i can and sit in front of a fan near the AC vent also blowing. I hope that gives you a good description because i am lacking an image of this said miserably hot pregnant woman partaking in this summer time activity. I am a human oven! nobody cooks in the summer ... its too hot! At least i can empathize someday i suppose.



Complications: The above chunky monkey is measuring in at about a week ahead of his schedule. Though this is a good thing it could potentially mean an earlier delivery then planned. The 36 week max recommendation includes the factor of estimated size at that time and what my uterus can hold. So in short I hope he doesn't get too carried away with bulking up! Needless to say obviously this is a mini nate, therefor a mini stock ... next is my not entirely functioning gall bladder, though it has no stones its reacting for sure and its not a pretty or painless thing. But something we have discovered i just must endure. In addition to that we had a gestational diabetes scare that resulted in lots of tests that also were quiet miserable and left me pretty sick. Nothing like throwing up at this stage! It would also explain babies size .. but as it turns out not my diagnosis! There is still a chance my placenta is partially under my scar and could result in complications but blood flow via ultrasounds indicates that its not growing together, at least for now. And from here on out we just wait and see what my body does with this experience and hope we make it to our gestational goal with realism about the potential.



Nursery: I really felt that a rocker was a necessary item this time around. I only had one with saylor and what a priceless place to be with baby! Of course i gave the one i had with saylor away years ago. I kept picturing myself in something more couch/soft/cushiony like so i knew what i wanted. But i also knew it was spendy. Thankfully a friend of mine was getting rid of her pottery barn rocker for a great deal and all it needed was a new cover. So i snatched that opp up. But then found the cover to be a frustrating endeavor. Because this model is no longer produced, either is the cover. Downeast only sells the chair with the cover not seperately. I found a chair cover at Ikea that seemed like it would fit .. but not so! And so for the first time in my limited sewing experienced life i endeavored to sew a chair cover myself! And though i am not entirely in love with the finish product, i am proud of myself. based on my experience level and know how about this type of things, its not too bad! and for now ... it will do. it will do.

TP

Just an observation. When kids are home from school for the summer more TP is needed. I did not anticipate this, it was logical to assume that there would be an increased food consumption here at the house but didnt think so much about TP. I am not sure that I have ever noticed this domestic impact in prior years. I suppose it is the result of several factors: 1. my kids are getting older and so their digestive systems require more paper usage 2. they possibly are more digestibility comfortable at home because i know they dont potty this much at school. 3. and then the obvious factor of adding more people to the "office" all day. Next year i will prepare in advance for this particular domestic need.

Nates Lumbar Shift

Our summer continues ... and i suppose the most pertinent event as of late has been Nate's back injury. Nate & Stock took off to Idaho for Western Regionals {where stock competed in 3 different wrestling styles and did fairly well but not as well as expected} only to return home with a slightly sore back that within a few days resulted in 100% immobility. Nate couldn't identify an injury or moment in which something occurred, so it was very mysterious. What it was more then that, was scary. I was terrified. Here i am in a high risk pregnancy not really at my physical peak with a husband who i rely on heavily, whom has always been a rock when it comes to health, my steady and sturdy horse suddenly paralyzed, realizing that we will soon not have my income as i take a break and that he makes money doing construction and coaching! The weight was incredible and terrifying, I have never been good at not knowing, tell me what you want me to handle and ill deal with it. Leave it a mystery and i panic! So for the first time in 13 years we took nate to the hospital, or to a doc for that matter. But not without the convincing of his doc brother, because my opinion was just not enough.

The ER is such a delightful place, we have been there all too many times. But nate has never been the patient. The table turn was really strange and surreal almost. After 6 or so hours we discovered through an MRI that nate had a shift in his lumbar spine and some swelling. The doc there was less then helpful. He loaded us up with prescriptions {that nate refused to use} and sent us on our way. During that 6 hours nate got several morphine, muscle relaxer, and anti-inflammatory shots. I took this video of him when i brought him home ...



We came home pretty defeated, realizing nate was in no condition to work and with no direction as to address this problem. so monday morning we went at a solution and ended up at a fantastic PT who gave us a ray of hope and explained what had happened to nate. A muscle in the lower part of his back was injured or aggravated by something and then pulled his lumbar over shifting is whole lower back. super duper painful. We saw him a lot last week and slowly with that and lots of stretching routines nate began to regain his mobility and strength.

I found it to be quiet a challenge to have him home and not well on top of all that my plate holds. But it caused for a great deal of reflection and appreciation for how often he has cared for me, which frankly has been a lot! and much more intense then this. We learned a bit about each other, grew closer together and were blessed. I suppose that is why this happened ultimately. A priesthood blessing veered us toward even more reflection, some strength and comfort, and definite things to conquer.

It wasnt till midweek that i realized what the likely culprit was. We had discussed and discussed all his movements prior to the immobilization, down to his diet or any change in anything he did. I looked down at our floor and saw this pair of shoes he bought in Idaho and wore for a few days prior to becoming eighty five years old and it hit me ... its the shoes!



while out shopping {yes can you imagine a bunch of wrestling dudes out shopping of all things during their down time? well they did, i would say they were getting in touch with their feminine side} nate picked up these shoes on sale for $25. he thought they werent bad looking and found the concept of toning up your jump interesting. Truth of the matter is the concept is that it changes the way you walk to strengthen specific muscles. the way you walk effects your spine! HELLO CULPRIT! i was furious!!! my husband was badly injured and $25 had turned into thousands. Ill always hate those shoes.

He is back to work this week and he says somewhere between 80-90% back to himself. I so appreciate all the concern, all the prayers, phone calls, texts, help, support, hanging with my kids, and all that. It got me through!

And i hope to update you on the remainder of us sometime next week!

and our summer begins ...

I have been such a bad blogger. Its been hard to keep up with all the demands of my usual busy life and my growing changing prego body. But i haven't forgotten or lost the value of Holland rocks in my life. So here is a basic recap on how our summer is shaping up thus far ...


ill start with the boys. Stock turned 10 recently. it was quiet uneventful one might say. He spent the day at wrestling camp and because he needed to cut weight for western regionals he also couldn't really go out to eat or have cake and ice-cream! ahhh the life of an athlete! For the most part both nate and stock are consumed with the business of sports. Stock is on a provo city baseball league .. and i bet you cant guess who the coach is? {nate of course} they are doing quiet well this year. undefeated. They have secured themselves a sweet spot in the state tournament. Stock is doing even better pitching this year then last and has developed himself into the most darling and fantastic catcher my eyes have ever seen. unlike watching him wrestle i heart the baseball games! he is just so handsome in that uniform, looks like a hot mini version of his father. i adore it. and lets face it, more entertaining! People comment on a regular basis to us about his athleticism, what can i say ... its the one area with him i will gloat to no end! He is just as magical as his father. When not playing baseball they are at wrestling prepping for western regionals and nationals. and soon ... very soon football starts.

Nate has been super busy with house projects. I think he is nesting ... no kidding i really think he is. He hasnt had much spare time but when he does he works on the house. We moved out of our storage unit and got all the storage back into the house into the new and improved storage room. and he built me all new storage and shelves in the studio to house all my inventory. Now he is working on the storage outside of the house. Nesting i tell ya. He is also playing softball with all "the boys" as usual. but this year i have noticed a change, no offense boys but your getting a little old for this, one of you seems to either be injured or get injured at every game and you have sort of lost your domination, not so good of a team any longer! none the less ... fun to watch!

and for the littlest boy in our lives ...


Baby boy O'Brien is doing really well! We are about 24/25 weeks now. And he is right on track for growth. He is getting bigger and bigger each and every time i see him. I am so blessed to be able to see him often. He is still moving like crazy, an odd sensation for me considering my last experience. We are both are doing better then expected and hope to make it to our goal. {about 10 more weeks) My placenta is an odd unusual shape and may be intruding upon my incision, if that is the case it may or may not cause some delivery complications. But really other then that baby is well and so am I. This has definitely been a far different experience then any pregnancy preceding this, but for that even i am grateful. I am nearly at a stage of greater concern and so work will soon be winding down and so will i. in order to get us both through those last few weeks. But prior to now studio stems & utah bride blog have been in full swing wedding season busy!

Maternity clothes ... my biggest dilemma as of late. I hate to invest money into that for only 10 more weeks and i have only now begun to really need them. I am generating a quiet odd shape that is not exactly pleasing to the eye or suited well to even maternity clothes. My fetal surgery incisions definitively play a part in my shape. my odd shape. thank goodness for my maturity and appreciation for this experience, i dont think back in the old having baby days i would have been able to deal with my odd un-attractive shape coupled with the additional pain that accompanies this all wrong baby making body. So i have scrounged through DI racks and KSL listings. only to find a few doable items. I need a suit still so i can enjoy the pool with the kids... but again short term need, sometimes big expense. I really would love a trip to honey bump in ogden, what a brilliant idea!!! why hasnt anyone generated the idea here down in utah county, isnt this baby making capital of the world?

I have been reading still when i can, love the escape. Emma & Me, as well as Bitter in the Mouth have both come and gone from my nightstand. Emma & I is one of those seemingly simplistic novels, but hits you at the end and makes you suddenly see the intricacies of the simple writing. Its haunting to say the very least a 6th sense type of deal. And Bitter in the Mouth was an interesting novel about a woman and how she deals with her identity through her ability to taste words.

onto the girls ...


they are growing up so fast and turning into amazing beautiful young ladies. I can hardly stand it!

My miss storie went to camp big springs for a week. yes i let go and cut the rope just a little more. It was super hard for me but super fun for her! She had a great time and i did ok without her. She is still on the UVrays and swimming every day. We have been so busy that she hasnt been to many meets quiet yet just a few here and there. She has acquired to attention of several boys as of late and they have begun to call the house! YIKES! sHe is such a good kid that though she likes the attention she doesnt seem as enamored with them as they are with her! A big help to me, im not sure how i would be getting through with out her. She has even been working a little for studio stems. A master at stripping roses now! We re-did the girls room recently, storie was feeling neglected and jipped by stocks newly acquired room in the "man-cave" basement. So we gave her the blue with orange accents she was dying for, including this darling retro desk we got from the school. {want one? message me they are for sale at the school for cheap $5!}



Saylor has been busy with private swim lessons. Something she has begged for but that i was very concerned about doing. I wasnt sure what her physical capabilities and expectations would be. Naturally swimming and the water is a therapeutic place for her, but she really wants to swim swim, like storie. We havent even finished half our program and she is doing far better then i expected. I am so proud of her, when she wants something she goes for it and her physical abilities continue to beat the odds! In true saylor style she wanted her side of the room done in "byu" theme. She is so loyal! Her health {knock on wood} is stable at the moment and she is doing really well. Anxious to play with friends quiet a bit but still my little buddy, home with me the most. The other day she asked me who was the most funny in our family, sometimes its her! Like yesterday when she said this to me while we were in the car driving home ...

me "saylor dont fall asleep we are almost home!" saylor "mom im not, im just blinking {pause} slowly!

I get that kind of stuff from her almost everyday. saylor-isms. so good. part of my favorite things in life.

Im excited to blog, i can think of a million things i want to share. the craftiness and thriftiness behind babies room, more books i am reading, recent studio work. baseball/wrestling ... hopefully as i wind down with the usuals to keep baby cooking ill have more time to blog. for now, thats all i wrote ...

Saylor's baptism

I cant believe my baby is 8! I have actually been thinking about this special day for a long time. With lots of joy, but also lots of pain and angst. Its gone by so fast, its hard to believe that she has come of that age. Her little life is just fleeting me by! I really seriously was quiet traumatized by the thought that our youngest child was passing through this threshhold in our lives, but our recent addition has appeased the pain a bit. Non the less the spirit surrounding this amazing girl made this THE most emotional baptism i have yet to experience or likely ever will.



Here we are, our little family MAY 7.2011



Storie & Stock were champs from the get go! They were really helpful and reverent and amazing. While planning saylors day both nate & i felt like the kids should be the speakers. They are a huge part of her life and has much as she has chosen this body they have chosen her and all the challenges it brings. I know my kids are not the norm and have amazing spirits because of what they have experiences and who they have become. I was so proud of these two on this day!




this was a spiritual day for nate! Saylor and I have done a lot together, and a lot of what we have done has been intensly spiritual and many of those experiences he really had to stand by and watch. But what he does have is the priesthood, I am so blessed and grateful for the man he is. This has allowed him some very personal, private, and spiritual moments shared between just him and saylor. In many ways this was his day too! She looks so much like him, and he looks so much like her ... they just like saylor and I are as much one as i am. This takes me back to the day he blessed her in the NICU and reminds me of how special she is to him, what she has done for him, and for us as her parents, as a couple. as ONE.

he was pretty nervous. We had talked about her legs coming up in the water, with no muscle mass and no physical control. But he forgot all caught up in the moment to put his own legs in front of hers, so they floated up! Second time into the water, he fowled up a word or two mixing a porteguese baptism with english, and so she got dunked a third time, but you know what they say ... the third time is the charm!

Saylor's confirmation {as to be expected} was pretty powerful and promising, most of her priesthood blessings are. It was so lovely to have a lot of the men that we care so deeply for there and surrounding her on this special day.



SO this is THE dress. I say THE because as you may already know i had quiet the time finding the perfect one. ABout 15 stories, and 15 hours of online shopping finally reached this perfect fashion destination. Every white dress i could find {take no offense here} was poofy and looked too princessy! no style to them at all! I just wasnt havin it! I wanted something that was befitting to saylor and to the style of our family. I actually ended up finding this darling shirt and then a dress with a black top but this amazing pleated bottom, and so a little craftiness resulted in our own little creation.




Saylor illuminated her typical glow.



there is something so special about saylor tiny feet. they are so symbollic of endless things.



This is our friend Ron Roberst. He is in our ward and is an amazing pianist. If you like Nordstroms, you likely recognize this fine fellow, he often plays there on their grand piano. There are plenty of talented muscisians in our lives, but this was important to me. It was also symbollic for our family and for our journey. Ron is blind. Yet is so independent, and incredibly talented. I couldnt resist is willingness to serve our family. Thank you RON!



this is chris, whom we have arranged for saylor to marry, and whom so politely obliges us! and also adores her! Technically he is her boyfriend if you ask her.






After the baptism we had a little brunch full of what else but amazing food! This is saylor with summer ... the inseperables. When saylor started school at rock canyon in the 1st grade saylor and summer bonded. Summer was struggling with some attachment issues and leaving home all day, but saylor eased the transition and summer carried things for saylor! They have been best buds ever since!




Two more special people. Jules and Neens, the sistas that work for studio stems, but are so much more then that. They are that special womanly connection for me. True friends and sisters in my life & therefor they love my angel. Thanks girls for all you do! Jules is prego but helped tons in the kitchen, and Neens was our own personal photographer in addition to helping more then anyone! No way the day would have gone off without the two of you!





Meet the food and a few members of the cherished Fox Family.



A few more special peeps, Janita Andersen and saylors "twin" Ireland who just got baptised about a month ago!

This truly was a beautiful and amazing day for our family full of an amazing spirit and closeness to our Heavenly father. I would like to thank all that helped with the program, especially David O - Who under stressful circumstances still made it to sing for saylor! For Both the Obrien family and the call family for all your support and help! TO all our friends who share this amazing journey with us, thank you!

the physicality of life inside me

No this is not me. And if you have never seen this image before, ill be surprised because its ALL over the internet. I have actually had it saved on my computer for several years now. It reminds me of the precious experience of having life move within me. There were many years that I really quiet frankly longed for this feeling again, not knowing that i would ever have the opportunity to feel it again, the memory doesnt serve it justice in the least bit. Though i have been feeling my little man for a couple weeks now, the movements have become much more prominent and frequent the last few days. It almost seems odd and perplexing to really ponder about. I dont recall having this physical feeling of growth as intensely as i have this time around. Each movement brings me a little smile, mostly internal, sometimes external. It also brings an immense gratitude and awe for my Heavenly Father. Nate reminded me last night in a blessing what a precious time this is, and how much closer to my Heavenly Father this makes me. Its a state of being to be envied and cherished, its also temporary. Holy moments, of being what i am at this moment. so profound ...

ITSA post

First there was this ... not much, but the beginnings of a miracle. 6 weeks



Then there was this at 11 weeks, a little more of a reality. Though at this point, in all honesty, i was still having days that I would forget that i was even pregnant, things would get so busy and i would get so occupied with other elements of my life that i had to catch myself. there also began to be days that brought questions about what i was doing. lots of moments of anxiety & insanity, what saves me each and every day from total and complete insanity, is the knowledge that its not my plan. that something bigger then me is handling the intricacies of such fragility.

A few weeks after this apt we had an AFP dilemma. to or not to, was the question. did it really matter? would we DO anything about any kind of abnormality?... likely not. Initially at the beginning of the pregnancy, i had little to no fears about any abnormalities. I guess i figured i could handle it. But as the pregnancy progressed i began to grow a little anxiety and ultimately determined that an AFP would at least bring some peace, so i went ahead with it. all the results were negative, a huge relief, or so one would think. As the weeks grew slower {why does pregnancy slow down life so drastically? why does it feel so long when the same amount of time not pregnant feels so short?} i grew more anxious. THE ultrasound was fast approaching and i began to have nightmares about what i might actually see. I guess psychologically this may be a tad bit normal under the circumstances but i was a little taken back by the plaguing fear of the unknown that might become me.



then the day came .... and the baby was normal in every way, he HAS a bladder! He HAS normal kicking legs and feet! his head is a normal size, shape, and anatomy. There is NO bubble on his back. His heart beats and pushes the blood the way a heart should ... i could go on and on and i say HIM.HE.HIS because ITS A BOY!



As intense as the anticipation was we decided to make this a family affair and took all the kids with us to see their baby. this is all of us in this together after all. and i couldnt be more thrilled with the experience, what a beautiful thing to share as a family. It was rather surreal to be with dr ball getting an ultrasound 8 years after saylor, with saylor with me!

so thats that for today ... just FYI ultrasound was at about 18 weeks {im about 19-20 now} i have so much to blog about, saylors baptism, mothers day, stocks new man cave, baby boy's new room, placenta craziness and it goes on and on but for now i want to keep it short, sweet, joyous, and all about ITSA .... cause ITSA BOY!