hard times & holy places

this week has been full of hard times & holy places. most of which i am not ready to talk about.

but i will share that i have been reminded by many how the sharing of my testimony is so important. and specifically by a few who i wouldnt expect that from. i have had an intensely spiritual week. early on in the week i spent a good amount of time reading the words of kris belcher. and i decided to email her and contribute to her fantastic blog. my writings are of hard times & just one of the many holy places associated with saylor. read it here. such an honor to be posted on such an inspiring blog. thank you kris for letting me share too.

insurance update ... for the first time in all of our utah SB life saylor is on disability medicaid. the experience itself was nothing short of a miracle and was very clearly places and moved by the Lord in an extreme time of need. i feel so much better about our situation now. and a lot more secure. now to just work our ins on the rest of us :) it seems to be coming into place.

i want my family & friends to know i do see the hand of the Lord in my life, i see it everyday. that the church is in deed true. and i also want them to know how grateful i am for their love & support. they are tools in the Lord's hands because i for sure could not be who i am without you or do what i do without you.

a birthday.a mothers day. a few books . a turkey. an explanation of some kind

a birthday ...

so saylor turned 7. she had a great day and a great little family/close friend party. two of her SB friends came among many others ... josh and ireland and they had so much fun! its fun for her to be with those that she really can relate too! saylor has been wanting a bike for some time now, the wiggle car was just not quiet good enough anymore. while we were in reno for a wrestling tournament in april we went to this gigantic sporting goods store where she found herself this bike and started cruising the aisles. a clear winner! i wanted to get it right then and there ... who wouldnt for saylor? but it really wasnt feasible with logistics and all. thankfully the red laser on my iphone not only saved us the hassle of getting it home, but some money too! so i ordered it online. this thing is made for toddlers ... (gives you an idea of her realistic size) though i dont think it will fit much longer ... she is as happy as a lark these days in her bike! she is busy growing sea monkey's and playing with her new toys. still doing fairly well and hanging in there with her health ... its a good thing to because if i didnt feel like this was the healthiest she has ever been i would be really down right now ... more on that later. she hasnt been fishing yet, though thats really all she said she wanted ... you see that week it was too rainy and her dad has since been a little too busy. but she has had lots of fun playing on her new baseball miracle league team and flying kites as well as going to the zoo with angel hands! and thats the jist ...

mothers day ... comical & yummy
nate actually figured it out this year. it was so nice! of course he spoiled it by telling me a few days before and here the kids were keeping the secret so well and he was the one to ruin it. he went out of his way to get a waffle recipe that he knew i loved and the ingredients along with a high end state of the art waffle maker. breakfast was sooo good.

the kids adorned me with many homemade gifts that were priceless and a few notes that made me well up in laughter tears.

stock gave me a paper from school called "my marvelous mom" and then he proceeded to tell me in this paper

if my mom were a flower she would be a "tuliP' loved this one, some of my fav's but i only like them end stage, thats when they are most beautiful i can only hope that i will become more beautiful as i age and the most gorgeous at the end!


if my mom were a song she would be "snails" if you havent heard this song you should. my kids love this song and so do i. i dont know if it applies to me in my life though its good guidance and it brings us all together as we sing it. the one line in it i love says "they see the beauty in every inch" referring to the snail of course. i think we all need a slow down and to see the beauty in every inch of life.

if my mom were a super hero she would be "wonder woman because she can fly high" ok whatever bud

if my mom were a candy she would be "hershey's because she is strong" hmmm ok. glad he see's me as strong but still not getting the correlation here.

if my mom were a car she would be "a scion because she is cute" and that is what i drive so i am guessing that its more or less just blink here.

if my mom were a color she would be "yellow because she is happy a lot" i dont always think of myself that way .. so i am glad i am coming across that way at least to some degree.

if my mom were an animal she would be a ...

white tiger?

then there was the church fill in the blank mom gift in which all of my kids said consistent things. so clearly they must be right ... right? they all said i was good at cleaning ... or rather they are recognizing things have to be clean or i go nuts. they also all said that my favorite meal is spagheti and actually its far from, not sure i even like it much but i do realize i make it a lot because its easy, cheap, and everyone here at this house generally will eat it ... so i guess in some regards it is my fav. and last but not least when asked what i like to do with their dad they all replied snuggle. i suppose i am glad they know i want to be with him, that i want to feel and show our love and that there is affection going on in this house.

lately i have been reading ...

my mom recently loaned me this good read. i can always count on her for recommendations. i hadnt been doing much reading so this was a nice return. this raw book filled with emotion is also just a fantastic read. one that will make you think about your behavior your actions and how you feel about the sins of americas past.

then a friend gave me this ..

keeping me in my holy places, remembering where they are and who i am and how to continue to have them through all my trials, to embrace the amazing-ness of such a blessing to have a life with a few extra challenges. this woman is brilliant and funny, uplifting and real about it all. you can also read her inspiring blog at www.hardtimesandholyplaces.blogspot.com thanks ang!

and now i am reading a mothers day gift that is quiet comical and i can relate to almost every word!

if your a working mom or even just a mom this book is hilarious. its so nice to relate and have someone well word your thoughts! its making me smile! thanks mike.

a turkey

i was pretty frustrated with the idea of nate taking yet more time out of my needs to go turkey hunting. i was wondering how on earth he was going to fit this into his very demanding schedule. he left early morning friday and came home with this tom before 7am. cant decide if this was my blessing or his! but i for sure feel blessed that was over with so easily. had tom for dinner for mothers day and he pleasantly tasted like chicken rather then turkey!

an explanation ...
i have been rather absentee from updating you and i am not sure how much i am willing to say. so ill just let you have what i am comfortable with. i havent been feeling it. of course i feel like there is never enough time in the day and i am quickly encroaching my busy busy time with studio stems so this creates a demanding time where time is at its premium, then of course my UBB partner meg had her baby so i have taken that over entirely for a period of time. but when it comes down to it i am still feeling private and less eloquent. this few months has been an intense time of prayer and personal revelation and exploration. last week i had the opp to go womens conference and this yielded some answers and some direction. it feels good to have a plan but i also feel like i am jumping off a cliff into the darkness and that i may be a little insane ... and yet still i think i must jump. in the meantime of all this spiritual emotional personal stuff i am dealing with i am working nearly full time (it feels) on resolving insurance tragedy and chaos. nothing like a family like ours without insurance to THROW you over the edge. and life goes on ... it goes on and on and on.