I just wanna be okay, be okay, be okay
I just wanna be okay today
I just wanna be okay, be okay, be okay
I just wanna be okay today
I just wanna feel today, feel today, feel today
I just wanna feel something today
I just wanna feel today, feel today, feel today
I just wanna feel something today
Open me up and you will see
I'm a gallery of broken hearts
I'm beyond repair, let me be
And give me back my broken parts
I just wanna know today, know today, know today
I just wanna know something today
I just wanna know today, know today, know today
Know that maybe I will be okay
Open me up and you will see
I'm a gallery of broken hearts
I'm beyond repair, let me be
And give me back my broken parts
Just give me back my pieces
Just give them back to me, please
Just give me back my pieces
And let me hold my broken parts
I just wanna be okay, be okay, be okay
I just wanna be okay today
I just wanna be okay, be okay, be okay
I just wanna be okay today
I just wanna feel today, feel today, feel today
I just wanna feel something today
I just wanna know today, know today, know today
Know that maybe I will be okay
Know that maybe I will be okay
Know that maybe I will be okay
this song by ingrid michaelson is so just how i feel right now
family pic
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
VOTE
"within genetic limitations, each being is a product of his/her culture and has unique creative and mental powers. It is with these powers that he/she can change his/her behavior and ultimately his/her society."
Sr Laurence J peter
Sr Laurence J peter
Friday, October 31, 2008
day of the dead
stole these haunting pics of a friends blog ...
happy day of the dead .... or is it happy? i love halloween and i am so glad it finally has arrived! and i am a tincy bit excited for it to end at this point....
here are pics of the kiddles this morning before they headed off to skool
Storie really really wanted to be annie and i refuse to cheez wig the child so we curled and curled and curled that hair. stock reluctantly is indiana jones, really i dont think the kid wanted to dress up at all and he was not to excited about wearing the hat for some reason so he is really just him ... dressed in brown. then their is our little ocean! just in case you dont get it, the hair is WAVED and the dress is waves and the sharks are swimming in it! oh i looooooooooove them! what were your kids? even better what were you?
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
witch eeee poo!
Every year my mom and i take my kids to gardners village for a scrumptous lunch at archibalds and then through the village to see all the witches on display. we have been doing this about 5 years now. usually it is stock that is bored but he seemed happy and interested this time around, storie seemed a little over it! perhaps she is getting to old? wait i am not too old .... so how can she be? and saylor .... well she has come to love it the most in 5 years, at least this year anyhow. this was the first year that she would even go near the witches. every previous year she would participate ... in her stroller or wheelchair and if you got her to close she would throw a fit. so here she is desperate to snuggle with each and everyone of them and all i hear all day was .... "mom take a picture!"
Friday, October 24, 2008
drum roll please .....
TA DA! saylor cathed herself by herself, completly by herself ... for REAL!
so we thought this day was far away perhaps a year or so ... at the soonest 6 months. we were told to teach her to cath herself one step at a time. so first we had her pull her own catheter out each time we cathed. only two weeks ago we started having her insert the catheter herself after we scrub every one involved down so its sanitary and lube her clean cath for her, set her up with a cup or at the toilet etc... just the other day i contemplated sort of adding another step. then i started to feel like no ... she isnt ready yet to juggle things physically the multiple objects that contribute to the madness. then today happened ...
well first let me say that there was a precurssor milestone to this one. saylor went to a school friends house today, by herself. meaning not one of my friends with a child who is her friend. not someone that she is very used to and is helping me out, meaning her friend and she went over there and i did not stay with her. never really done before. big step for both of us. she did fantastic. i had cathed her right before she went and she was only gone 2 hours so it wasnt quiet time to cath when we arrived home. however i did want her to wash her hands. she can do this on her own! lol. so i sent her to her room to wash up. i guess she thought this meant it was also time to cath. while i was studying in the kitched she quietly took it upon herself to go ahead and cath. then she came into the kitchen and announced loud and proud .... I JUST CATHED MYSELF, i replied loud and confused .... WHAT? so i went into her bathroom with her and sure enough she had washed her hands, gotten a clean cath out of her bucket, put a little lube on a clean paper towell, lubed the cath, inserted it and drained her pee into her pee cup, then pulled it out and proudly left the pee cup full for evidence. i tell you people i am ASTOUNDED! should i be though .... i have always known what a smart cookie she is yet i am baffled by her undertaking of this huge responsibility without even a suggestion from her 'rents!
she never ceases to AMAZE me ... who is this queen of queens in my home? who is this angel? i dare say i dont even understand the magnitude of the gift i have been given. her docs will be in shock that this quickly after surgery and at the age of only 5 she responsibly and sanitarily took this under her own doing. i feel overdrived with a natural high!
so we thought this day was far away perhaps a year or so ... at the soonest 6 months. we were told to teach her to cath herself one step at a time. so first we had her pull her own catheter out each time we cathed. only two weeks ago we started having her insert the catheter herself after we scrub every one involved down so its sanitary and lube her clean cath for her, set her up with a cup or at the toilet etc... just the other day i contemplated sort of adding another step. then i started to feel like no ... she isnt ready yet to juggle things physically the multiple objects that contribute to the madness. then today happened ...
well first let me say that there was a precurssor milestone to this one. saylor went to a school friends house today, by herself. meaning not one of my friends with a child who is her friend. not someone that she is very used to and is helping me out, meaning her friend and she went over there and i did not stay with her. never really done before. big step for both of us. she did fantastic. i had cathed her right before she went and she was only gone 2 hours so it wasnt quiet time to cath when we arrived home. however i did want her to wash her hands. she can do this on her own! lol. so i sent her to her room to wash up. i guess she thought this meant it was also time to cath. while i was studying in the kitched she quietly took it upon herself to go ahead and cath. then she came into the kitchen and announced loud and proud .... I JUST CATHED MYSELF, i replied loud and confused .... WHAT? so i went into her bathroom with her and sure enough she had washed her hands, gotten a clean cath out of her bucket, put a little lube on a clean paper towell, lubed the cath, inserted it and drained her pee into her pee cup, then pulled it out and proudly left the pee cup full for evidence. i tell you people i am ASTOUNDED! should i be though .... i have always known what a smart cookie she is yet i am baffled by her undertaking of this huge responsibility without even a suggestion from her 'rents!
she never ceases to AMAZE me ... who is this queen of queens in my home? who is this angel? i dare say i dont even understand the magnitude of the gift i have been given. her docs will be in shock that this quickly after surgery and at the age of only 5 she responsibly and sanitarily took this under her own doing. i feel overdrived with a natural high!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
girls go to college to get more knowledge
so here it is, i am going to put it out in the world .... i am going to college to get more knowledge.
i am currently dual enrolled at both of these fine universities. does this make me a zoobie? i dont think it does because i am older than the typical college age ... or wait am i? yesterday while at UVU i watched passer by's in the hall for a bit. i am pretty sure i still look young enough to pass for 23-35 years old! lucky me! too bad i cant turn back time so that i actually finish at a reasonably young age. i was planning on starting spring semester but a really good academic advisor got me into some classes at the Y this semester so i am a busy YOUNG lady!
this decision has been long in the making. there have been times in my life i have heavily considered it and upon prayer and meditation have not found timing to be in my favor .... until now. so now is the time. i am working towards a bachelors degree in nursing science. if i stay on schedule i will be a RN in about 2.5 3 years and have a BSN in 4 years. thought you all should know.
i am currently dual enrolled at both of these fine universities. does this make me a zoobie? i dont think it does because i am older than the typical college age ... or wait am i? yesterday while at UVU i watched passer by's in the hall for a bit. i am pretty sure i still look young enough to pass for 23-35 years old! lucky me! too bad i cant turn back time so that i actually finish at a reasonably young age. i was planning on starting spring semester but a really good academic advisor got me into some classes at the Y this semester so i am a busy YOUNG lady!
this decision has been long in the making. there have been times in my life i have heavily considered it and upon prayer and meditation have not found timing to be in my favor .... until now. so now is the time. i am working towards a bachelors degree in nursing science. if i stay on schedule i will be a RN in about 2.5 3 years and have a BSN in 4 years. thought you all should know.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
timeless gifts & blessings
"you know there are only two worthwhile things to leave behind when you depart this world: children & art" marie
a few unexpected priceless gifts left to me by my grandmother ....
A classic non the less! jane eyre, 1943 random house printing with nothing less then the true art of writing within it! a several amazing wood etchings!
this time magazine was actually aquired through a trunk of my fathers being stored at my grandmothers so i suppose its really handed down from my dad. its march 13th, 1972 edition and in case you cant read its cover illustrates uncle sam and the headliner "is the U.S. going broke?" hmmmm. interesting. 36 years later i think its safe to say that we have cycled back to this exact issue. in its pages are articles that describe perfectly the state of our economy today.
in this said trunk i also found writings of my baby blessing. its my understanding that my grandfather blessed me, my mothers father. i suppose of all my grandparents i was closest to him. so its very dear to me to have in my physical hand spiritual words that his priesthood keys offered me. then to have the writings of my own father as he heard the blessing. knowing that he had the faith and tuneness to script these rich blessings. how grateful i am for the fathers in my life, how rich i am! this could not have come at a pertinent time in my life as i seek answers to life changing decisions. my grandmother passed a time that leads me through a new door in life and no doubt my all mighty father had a hand in the timing of it all!
a few unexpected priceless gifts left to me by my grandmother ....
A classic non the less! jane eyre, 1943 random house printing with nothing less then the true art of writing within it! a several amazing wood etchings!
this time magazine was actually aquired through a trunk of my fathers being stored at my grandmothers so i suppose its really handed down from my dad. its march 13th, 1972 edition and in case you cant read its cover illustrates uncle sam and the headliner "is the U.S. going broke?" hmmmm. interesting. 36 years later i think its safe to say that we have cycled back to this exact issue. in its pages are articles that describe perfectly the state of our economy today.
in this said trunk i also found writings of my baby blessing. its my understanding that my grandfather blessed me, my mothers father. i suppose of all my grandparents i was closest to him. so its very dear to me to have in my physical hand spiritual words that his priesthood keys offered me. then to have the writings of my own father as he heard the blessing. knowing that he had the faith and tuneness to script these rich blessings. how grateful i am for the fathers in my life, how rich i am! this could not have come at a pertinent time in my life as i seek answers to life changing decisions. my grandmother passed a time that leads me through a new door in life and no doubt my all mighty father had a hand in the timing of it all!
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