Beauty & Drool

When I was pregnant back yonder in the younger days one of my closest friends told me about this book, "The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy: or everything your doctor wont tell you" and though I meant to read it this time around {I did read it last time}, I never got to it. But I haven't forgotten the gift that it was to me, it truly has stuck with me through all these years! I remember distinctly thinking "I wish I had had this book with my first baby or that someone would have told me it was all going to be like this!" This book really gets down to the nitty gritty of what it really IS to be pregnant! Because the day in and day out IS not what your doctor tells you. Its all the little things that change every facet of your body, mind, strength, and spirit. Some are less then graceful and beautiful, but they all make up the cumulative beauty that IS pregnancy, the creation of life!

To express the beauty of pregnancy coupled with some of those less talked about things, I thought I would create a unique and raw post for you. I never took maternity pics with any of my 3 previous pregnancies. I literally {no joke take a look at some of my raw fb pics ... } am one of the very least photogenic people in the universe. On top of that, I dont handle viewing myself all that well so this seemed like a no brainer ... maternity pics are OUT! But as this pregnancy progressed and knowing that I have matured a great deal, I couldn't help but want to consider it. Because this IS beautiful, even if its not photogenic. In fact I find it to be so incredibly beautiful, especially considering the physical challenge that it brings me specifically that I wavered my decision a little and decided that maternity pics are ON! After seeking out just a few of my most favorite photogs for advice and inquiry I then flopped again to the other side of the fence and decided not to do it, until that is, my loving photog friend Angie convinced me to do it with a sacred oath of private security upon the shoot and the images. We had a great time at our little shoot and Angie made me feel so comfortable and beautiful. It wasn't long before I was so grateful that I did this! So mixed with the beauty {edited} that the talented Angie of Sweet Memory Gardens captured of me and baby, you will find grueling text about some of the specific nitty gritties of this pregnancy, things a doc would never tell you, but things a girlfriend should!


DrOOL: I picked this image for this topic because of how the two conflict and contradict each other. A little sexy right? Well drooling is NOT sexy! I cannot recall the need for excessive saliva in baby baking. Since when was that an ingredient? It never was for my other 3 and they turned out just fine! This time around I cant seem to stop the flow! Waking up in pools of drool next to the man you love wont likely create feelings of beauty or intimacy for either one of you! Not to mention waking up from a nap with a soaked sleeve or shoulder ... never in my life have I had to change clothes mid-day for this type of problem! Not to mention the sudden need to swallow more frequently while in conversation to reduce the incidence of spitting! Couldn't get more real then that right? Apparently I am not the only one because limitless baby/pregnancy websites list and discuss this issue. Good to know I am not a lone, still not liking this added ingredient. What I have learned: It actually has a medical terminology, go figure! Welcome to the unpleasant side effect known as ptyalism or sialorrhea. Also apparently more common in women with more sever cases of morning sickness. {or in other words throw-up all day long sickness, or in my case even all night long!}


CRaVINGS: I am writing about this only because I think its one of THE most common questions that befall an expecting mother, and I have been asked my fair share. I have a sweet tooth on a regular basis anyhow but pregnancy does not usually magnify that for me. In fact some of you might already know that with Stock I ate a lot of mayonnaise! PLAIN! This time around vanilla has been the flavor of choice. But not just any vanilla, quality counts! Costco has delivered every time with their Kirkland brand vanilla ice-cream. I also have been known to eat a Haagan Daz bar {or two} a day! And for a few weeks somewhere in there I really enjoyed SCORE bars. As of late though the amount of food of any kind consumed by me and the baby has decreased and the level of ICE has increased. I am not an ICE person, I typically like low ice in all my drinks, the cold typically bothers my veneers. And I have never been known to chew ice for pleasure, but here I am chewing endless bags of ice away.


How many times do you PEE in the night?: My dark hours are about as comfortable as laying on a bed of rocks! Actually I was really delighted with the outcome of my willingness to lay on this creek side stone beach. And in reality my night routine is much more unbearable then getting this picture was or ever could be. I am not sure if its my age this time around, or damage done to my inner urinary organs during fetal surgery and emergency delivery, or if its just the position of this particular baby, or a combo of all sorts of elements but I feel about 90 years old with a 100% incompetent bladder. I swear to you that not a night has passed in the last 6 months that I have gone to the bathroom less then 10 times between 10pm and 7am. Who does that?! And can live with it long term?! Honestly I truly have considered a catheter its that bad!


Non Stress Test ARE actually STRESSful: Like many high risk expectant moms as I have gotten down to the wire it has been a weekly requirement to undergo NST's & AFI's. The more I do, the more I feel that they cause more stress then actually monitor stress. Having in depth ultrasounds on the same day adjacent to the AFI has made me realize that the fluid measurement is likely not accurate, so why do it? And 20 min of rushed monitoring does not equate to a definitive answer of contracting or not. Not to mention for me the drive to and from st marks in constant construction helps out my stress level a ton!


HuMAN oVEN: It is in fact true that a pregnant woman runs a few degrees hotter then the rest of us non baking ovens walking around. And anyone intentionally planning a summer pregnancy is truly INSANE! Because this has been downright nearly unbearable! I am just one big ball of hot sweaty mess!

HYPERventilation?!: I pretty continuously have a tingling feeling in my face. Which i have been told is some kind of hyperventilation. I am so bothered by the idea of mis-diagnosis and not being listened too. On the flip side I have learned over the years {especially with saylor} that I am also very bothered by subjection to mass quantities of tests to determine a culprit of a specific kind. I feel this in the calmest of times and for a long duration. I have tried taking deep breaths, short breaths, any kind of breaths you can think of. And yet the tingling persists. I have to admit its far better then the "vaginal spasms" some idiot doc diagnosed me with while pregnant with saylor.



HoW DO U answer THAT ??: So I get asked a lot, "how are you doing?" or "how are you feeling?" And genuinely it is in no way the question that bothers me, in fact I really appreciate the genuine sincerity of those that truly care about how I am. Its the answer that bothers me. How does one answer that question when they feel like I do? With grace and honesty both at the same time? My life is bi-polar actually. In any given moment I can feel elated by the miracle of life moving inside of me and then tortured by the pain it creates. That is how I feel, for those of you that are wondering.

I'll leave you with just those few gritties and save the most disturbing ones for those "girlfriend" conversations. In the end this has been a pregnancy well accomplished. I have made it further then anyone involved anticipated, and without being in bed! {Though not without restrictions, meds, and pain!} I worked nearly till the end ... ok in some regards I am even still working :) and have managed 3 other kids with craaaazy schedules and an even busier husband! Baking this baby boy has been a joy for the most part, a blessing beyond measure, and an assurance of who I am and want to be. I have enjoyed this pregnancy more thoroughly then ever before and in many ways look with ill anticipation to it's end. The movement inside me, a constant miracle and feeling unlike anything else will be so missed and yet his arrival will be such a relief!

All images courtesy of: Sweet Memory Garden

A few Inspiring Young Fellows

So for more then a week or so has passed and I have endeavored to blog about some hilarious insights into my pregnancy, before it ends of course, and I still am in the thick of the comedy! I usually blog personally on the weekends, seeing how it is that I blog all week long professionally. I still hope to get to this before baby comes, even though it seems these days with just a little more then two weeks left, that he could really need to be delivered any day ... any moment. Ill do my best to entertain you still!

But today I have decided to blog about some of the benefits that I have received from being involved so heavily in the athletic world of both my husband and son. It comes in the way of some serious inspiration and touching perspectives of life. Nate introduced me {on the TV that is} to this amazing young man Anthony Robles who is a current national champ out of Arizona in the college wrestling world. Whats amazing about him, he was born with only one leg! He recently was the recipient of the Jimmy V award at the Espy's. His speech was nothing short of inspiring and touching, I particularly find his mom to be a stunning inspiration to me. Its so hard to watch sometimes, being a mom is truly the most incredible and emotionally painful experience to be had here on earth. I kept thinking how is she watching him wrestle? I can hardly watch Stock and hold back tears and stomach contents!

Robles Acceptance Speech at ESPY Awards (Jimmy V Award) from Keith Jennings on Vimeo.

Anthony's story obviously hits home really hard for me as I watch my own talented son strive for excellence in this same sport and as I watch my own little miracle child endeavor to beat all the odds in front of her to become something impossible. Anthony's message ... is going up on our wall!

He reminds me a little of another wrestling friend, Henry Cejudo. A wrestler who beat many odds and became an Olympic gold medalists. A few years back when I was first privileged to meet Henry i was so smitten with his humble nature and his ease and willingness to let saylor wear his gold medal for a while! His book still stands out to me as one of the most inspiring books I have read. These two young men not only inspire my children but they have taught me a great deal about work, hard work, and what it takes to be a true champion. {Henry's book is called American Victory}

If Nate is home and has down time, a sport channel is on the TV! You can be sure of it. And though this usually annoys me to some extend I have found myself pretty fascinated and impressed with all the stories on ESPN's E60. I will even go as far as to say I would watch the program if he wasnt around ... yep I know your stunned right?

I am so grateful on so many levels for the inspiring nature of athleticism and its contribution and influence in my home. For the man I married and what he brings to the table, even if it means I am a lone a heck of a lot of the time!

Thursday Hero Reunion 2011

Saylor was a "Thursday Hero" for the BYU football team 2 seasons ago, it was one of THE most incredible experiences of our lives. For those of you that dont know what I mean by this, Bronco {head coach} has several programs to enrich the lives of his players, to teach them gratitude and service among other character building attributes, this is one of them. For home games the Thursday prior to the game the team watches film and hears about an inspiring person and then after practice that person comes to the facilities where they sign the team flag and the team signs a flag for them as well as spends time with them and their family. An unforgettable day for sure! Saylor is still very much in love with Cosmo and takes much pride in that she is the only Thur hero to have him at her team night. Every year prior to the season there is a Thursday Hero reunion for all the inspiring people, their families, the coaching staff, and the players. It's a private event {obviously} so my kids get genuinely spoiled and spend time with their favorite players, get john hancocks and the boys eat every second up of football talk and food they can get. This year saylor was a little shy, but still had a blast and proves that she still bleeds blue ... like her dad.


This is Bryan Kariya, he plays for the cougs and was also my little brothers mission companion. We love chatting with him, he is simply a doll with a great head on his shoulders and fantasmic smile!


Saylor & Bronco have a yearly chat to catch up on how she is doing. I swear this exact scene is not much different then last years image of this. Bronco was even wearing the same outfit, hat, flip flops and all! Saylor was also wearing a similar outfit :) He always tells her when he sees her how when the team views the Thur Hero videos compilation that Saylor always hits his heart pretty hard. They talked about pink and purple crutches and shoes.


This year we spent the most time with Kyle Van Noy. We actually find his personal story to be quiet inspiring and he was really down to earth and fun to chat with.

I didnt get as many pics as i should have. I was so hot and exhausted! But we ate dinner with the "brown brothers" Braden and Rhen. And they were a hoot. They dont look anything alike but charming they were. We also stopped for a hello with Chad Lewis who it seems we see a lot these days between skiing, football camps, BYU stuff and other athletic events. I am sure this was Stock's highlight because the first thing chad said to him was hey you are that really fast kid from OHS FB camp that was really good ... yep thats him! It's always nice to catch up with our old friend Coach Weber as well!


As we were leaving the team equipment semi had just parked and the kids couldn't believe how nice it was, so they wanted a pic!

Good times. Thanks Bronco and the Cougs! Awe the benefits of living with a hero ...

August

Last month {i cant believe its been a month ... see time is escaping me, someone is stealing it!} Nate's brother Aaron and his family were in town from Texas. And so Nate's mom thought it would be a great time to do family pics. I wasnt very familiar with the photographer and so i didnt endeavor to have any pics taken of our own little fam {i know way to many amazing and talented photogs to do this} and i am not sure that a family pic 7 months prego is really productive anyhow. I didnt plan to take pics of my kids on my own until after the two hours of work it took to get them all ready. I needed more of a pay off for all that work! so i took our own camera a long for some quick shots and this is what came of it. nothing special but a little visual update! {obviously ... Nate selected for us that we wear BYU colors to signify our loyalty!}

Storie recently finished up long course season on UVRAYS and has a little bit of time off here in August before short course season starts up again. She finished the season off impressively with amazing improvements on many of her times! She recently got a new violin, that almost cost one of my limbs. Good thing I dont play. And taught me a serious lesson about buying off KSL! Beware of PEG is all i have to say about that. {if your ever in the violin market locally and want more info or cautions just message me} She also has begun fall girls soccer, a new endeavor for her. I fear that swimming was just not enough of an athletic feature to make her feel welcome in her dads world. Which in reality is of course not true and also makes me sad ... but we do live with a crazy man who lives and breaths sports so i get the inevitable feelings. I also feel like its a bit of insanity to add that to our calendar .. especially right now, oh well ... as i say to every question that befalls me these days ... ONE DAY AT A TIME!

Stock has begun football again and both him and his dad are pretty focused and enthralled in the world of a single brown ball. It exhausts me. He is my only child not looking forward to school, but on the same note is my only child who cares what brand of clothing he is wearing ... seems a little off to me. I do have an almost 12 year old girl. But thats ok. If possible he would adorn himself head to toe with anything under-armor, jordan, or nike. and thats pretty much it! Everyone asks us {me and or him and i suppose nate as well} if stock is excited to have a little brother. And i suppose he is far more excited about the babe then he would be if it was a girl ... but he is quietly excited, as you would expect a boy to be.

Saylor had her first soccer experience last week thanks to a friend who took her when i could not. Of course her physical capabilities in light of her limitations were nothing short of impressive. she is naturally an obrien ... and therefor an athlete. We dont seem to make any other kind of breed. We also were able to take her to WC tennis for the first time all summer. It was a delight ... it also makes me feel so terribly guilty when i realize the mounds of potential this kid has and then also realize its up to me to facilitate it and get her there! She has enjoyed attending numerous baptisms for friends all summer long and her play dates with peyton and summer are priceless! 7 peaks with nate is a highlight for her because she gets to go down the slides and do something beyond wade in the wave pool with her incapable pregnant mother. And her biggest high was BYU Thursday Hero reunion last week. {More on that to come} This year we are trying out some new steps in way of independence at school and with school only a week away i am quiet nervous for her. She is not however. typical.


As for baby obrien ... this is from our early august ultra ... also our last one with dr ball, a sad and difficult day for me. Baby is still growing strong. He was a little ahead of himself for a bit but has slowed his rate back to his gestational age. Though he continues to look a little muscular to all the techs who see him! {If they only knew!} Dr ball has escaped back to UCSF and left me in the hands of my regular OB dr sloan. That being said he tells me time and time again that he is only a phone call away. And i do realize that likely not many, if any other, patients have his number and his beckon call. He has never not answered or called me back within 10 minutes in the entire 8 years i have had personal access to him! SO for now that will have to do ... He did recommend one more ultrasound prior to delivery, but trusted the temp MFM's about as much as i do, so the plan is just to have his timp hospital tech cassidy scan us and call him when she is done. That will be aug 30th. We are hoping for a minimum of 2 more weeks. {I am 32 now} And a max of 4. We have completed a lovely steroid cycle that left me with a few side effects for a few days, luckily no allergic reaction this time. and at least its on board should we not make it! Non stress tests once a week have begun as well. So i feel like i am driving to st marks several days a week now between apts and NST's. oh wait i am doing that. alright then.

Nights have become nearly unbearable with discomfort and a few nights have brought on some braxton hicks and in usual audrey style some vomiting as well. I think both Nate and I are at this place were we are a little bit of constantly on edge, knowing that we are very much down to the wire and that we cant predict how this is going to go down, though we would like it to be scheduled and planned we know from too much experience that life doesnt always go down that way! I still feel not at all ready in many respects. As painful as his movement has become i still really enjoy this miracle and seeing/feeling him move inside of me. Still smitten with this miraculous fascination. We are ready in material sort of way ... i think anyway ... but i dont feel ready in any other way. It hardly feels real that in a month at longest we are going to have an infant in our arms! The memories of the challenge a new born brings fade, this is how women are convinced to have more you see, but there is enough there {vaguely} to send terror through me, i dont know if i can handle this! Yikes! Our lives are so busy and complicated ... this will be nothing short of a beautiful mess i am sure.

whats to come on the blog ... well thursdays hero of course! and yes i did it .. maternity pics ... first day of school next week ... end of pregnany woes ... and likely leaking nursing boobs to go a long with newborn woes! and what would an obrien blog be without athletic updates!

Pregnancy Update: 28 Weeks

Fleeting me by: above you find a more current ultrasound image of our little man. He has taken on the concept of sucking his thumb, praying that doesn't stick! I know from personal experience the expense and toll it can take, bad habit! With all three of my previous kids anxiousness and even i dare say extreme lack of patience took me over. Even with saylor, whom I had at 28 weeks! And yes i felt guilty about being so impatient, at least with her. But I really have never been good at pregnancy at all. It has been hard for me to enjoy in past experiences. BUT this time around the experience really has taken on a new role. As delivery date max {52 days from now} approaches I actually find myself reluctant to get there and full of patience. I dont feel at all ready to finish this opportunity. Every step of the way I have just been amazed at this miracle and blessing and there is little I enjoy more then just feeling him move inside of me. I will admit I am uncomfortable and in a great deal of pain, some of which i guess to be normal and some of which is likely due to my not capable of being pregnant body. I dont feel ready emotionally, physically, or even in material ways. Most of all as ready as i might be spiritually i also dont want to see that spiritual moment change, even if it changes to something just as beautiful. I suppose i am far busier this time around as well, we are as a family actually. this is making time fly!

Heat: I have never been really prego in the summer. I guess I would have been to some degree with saylor but she came 3 months early. and i just touched the summer with stock. I cant believe how much the heat makes a difference in how i feel! Frankly i have been miserably hot a great deal of moments in the last few weeks! and i wonder how people do this? really? i am pretty set on being the least amount clothed as i can and sit in front of a fan near the AC vent also blowing. I hope that gives you a good description because i am lacking an image of this said miserably hot pregnant woman partaking in this summer time activity. I am a human oven! nobody cooks in the summer ... its too hot! At least i can empathize someday i suppose.



Complications: The above chunky monkey is measuring in at about a week ahead of his schedule. Though this is a good thing it could potentially mean an earlier delivery then planned. The 36 week max recommendation includes the factor of estimated size at that time and what my uterus can hold. So in short I hope he doesn't get too carried away with bulking up! Needless to say obviously this is a mini nate, therefor a mini stock ... next is my not entirely functioning gall bladder, though it has no stones its reacting for sure and its not a pretty or painless thing. But something we have discovered i just must endure. In addition to that we had a gestational diabetes scare that resulted in lots of tests that also were quiet miserable and left me pretty sick. Nothing like throwing up at this stage! It would also explain babies size .. but as it turns out not my diagnosis! There is still a chance my placenta is partially under my scar and could result in complications but blood flow via ultrasounds indicates that its not growing together, at least for now. And from here on out we just wait and see what my body does with this experience and hope we make it to our gestational goal with realism about the potential.



Nursery: I really felt that a rocker was a necessary item this time around. I only had one with saylor and what a priceless place to be with baby! Of course i gave the one i had with saylor away years ago. I kept picturing myself in something more couch/soft/cushiony like so i knew what i wanted. But i also knew it was spendy. Thankfully a friend of mine was getting rid of her pottery barn rocker for a great deal and all it needed was a new cover. So i snatched that opp up. But then found the cover to be a frustrating endeavor. Because this model is no longer produced, either is the cover. Downeast only sells the chair with the cover not seperately. I found a chair cover at Ikea that seemed like it would fit .. but not so! And so for the first time in my limited sewing experienced life i endeavored to sew a chair cover myself! And though i am not entirely in love with the finish product, i am proud of myself. based on my experience level and know how about this type of things, its not too bad! and for now ... it will do. it will do.

TP

Just an observation. When kids are home from school for the summer more TP is needed. I did not anticipate this, it was logical to assume that there would be an increased food consumption here at the house but didnt think so much about TP. I am not sure that I have ever noticed this domestic impact in prior years. I suppose it is the result of several factors: 1. my kids are getting older and so their digestive systems require more paper usage 2. they possibly are more digestibility comfortable at home because i know they dont potty this much at school. 3. and then the obvious factor of adding more people to the "office" all day. Next year i will prepare in advance for this particular domestic need.

Nates Lumbar Shift

Our summer continues ... and i suppose the most pertinent event as of late has been Nate's back injury. Nate & Stock took off to Idaho for Western Regionals {where stock competed in 3 different wrestling styles and did fairly well but not as well as expected} only to return home with a slightly sore back that within a few days resulted in 100% immobility. Nate couldn't identify an injury or moment in which something occurred, so it was very mysterious. What it was more then that, was scary. I was terrified. Here i am in a high risk pregnancy not really at my physical peak with a husband who i rely on heavily, whom has always been a rock when it comes to health, my steady and sturdy horse suddenly paralyzed, realizing that we will soon not have my income as i take a break and that he makes money doing construction and coaching! The weight was incredible and terrifying, I have never been good at not knowing, tell me what you want me to handle and ill deal with it. Leave it a mystery and i panic! So for the first time in 13 years we took nate to the hospital, or to a doc for that matter. But not without the convincing of his doc brother, because my opinion was just not enough.

The ER is such a delightful place, we have been there all too many times. But nate has never been the patient. The table turn was really strange and surreal almost. After 6 or so hours we discovered through an MRI that nate had a shift in his lumbar spine and some swelling. The doc there was less then helpful. He loaded us up with prescriptions {that nate refused to use} and sent us on our way. During that 6 hours nate got several morphine, muscle relaxer, and anti-inflammatory shots. I took this video of him when i brought him home ...



We came home pretty defeated, realizing nate was in no condition to work and with no direction as to address this problem. so monday morning we went at a solution and ended up at a fantastic PT who gave us a ray of hope and explained what had happened to nate. A muscle in the lower part of his back was injured or aggravated by something and then pulled his lumbar over shifting is whole lower back. super duper painful. We saw him a lot last week and slowly with that and lots of stretching routines nate began to regain his mobility and strength.

I found it to be quiet a challenge to have him home and not well on top of all that my plate holds. But it caused for a great deal of reflection and appreciation for how often he has cared for me, which frankly has been a lot! and much more intense then this. We learned a bit about each other, grew closer together and were blessed. I suppose that is why this happened ultimately. A priesthood blessing veered us toward even more reflection, some strength and comfort, and definite things to conquer.

It wasnt till midweek that i realized what the likely culprit was. We had discussed and discussed all his movements prior to the immobilization, down to his diet or any change in anything he did. I looked down at our floor and saw this pair of shoes he bought in Idaho and wore for a few days prior to becoming eighty five years old and it hit me ... its the shoes!



while out shopping {yes can you imagine a bunch of wrestling dudes out shopping of all things during their down time? well they did, i would say they were getting in touch with their feminine side} nate picked up these shoes on sale for $25. he thought they werent bad looking and found the concept of toning up your jump interesting. Truth of the matter is the concept is that it changes the way you walk to strengthen specific muscles. the way you walk effects your spine! HELLO CULPRIT! i was furious!!! my husband was badly injured and $25 had turned into thousands. Ill always hate those shoes.

He is back to work this week and he says somewhere between 80-90% back to himself. I so appreciate all the concern, all the prayers, phone calls, texts, help, support, hanging with my kids, and all that. It got me through!

And i hope to update you on the remainder of us sometime next week!