not sure what to say

i have no great picture to add to this. and i am not even sure what will be the end result of this post. i feel combobbled to some degree. but i thought i would post an update.

nate - so busy coaching wrestling and gone every night of the week. had tons of fun over thanksgiving break off of work, spending time with his brothers and family, playing tons of football, hunting and of course the BYU/Utah game. his aunt passed away the week of thanksgiving. not sure he even remembers her but always bittersweet on some level. happy and healthy as always!

Me - well i am so spiritually, physically, mentally overwhelmed. i feel like i need to share the gospel more on this blog, or at least share my testimony and the spirit that accompanies so much of my life. but i am having a hard time finding the words. i have been really impressed to work harder on being a better mom to my 3 kids who are very much in need. a kinder more patient & loving wife, and have more spiritual consistency in my life. i am healthy and as of late (knock on wood) have been thinking how nice it is that i havent been sick in a while, i catch everything it seems. christmas is so fun but overwhelming. i am struggling to seem at home for some reason too. i have this weird surrealness surrounding me right now. getting my blasted english class finished up is what i really need to get done in order to lift some pressure and ease my mind a little. refocus. i need to be more careful about the way i speak. another goal. and YW is great i taught a simple floral design class to them all last night and felt really happy during those hours.

studio stems - lots of fun things going on here. on the heals of my learning experience in SF i have put some marketing strategies to work and you know what they are working. i am so pleased. also soon the publications for the year come out and i am so thrilled to be in nearly every single one editorially. and also i hear from a bird that one of my bouquets from a UTB&G shoot is on the cover! cant wait. also new logo change and site/blog uplift as well as cards and promo stuff. some great stuff going on with UBB and lots of writing writing writing.

storie - couldnt be more extatic to be learning to board this year. got her a whole season rental at sports authority. she is taking lessons at sundance through her school. amazing program its making me like rock canyon more! she is doing well in violin and loves choir. doing really well in school as always but needs more attention i sense. she recently got an email account. great is all i can think. she is growing up. not ready for that. she wants clothes, jewlery, and girl things for xmas and i am loving that.

stockton - has taken 1st in the last two wrestling tourni's but has a big intense one this weekend, salt lake slam. still cant hardly be caught with out a football in his hands. he is ready for all things sports related for xmas. i struggle to help him with expressing his frustration and anger. well his emotions all together. we continue to butt heads a little and i really want to work this out so that we can have a golden relationship. doing well in school and healthy though.

my little miss saylor - she has had such a high for weeks now. so many great things happening in her life. good friends. great experiences. and relatively healthy. she is struggling with daily headaches and stomach problems that now are wearing thin on all of us involved in her care. i cant seem to find good grounding for how to help her or what to do next. we are working on some diet changes for now. but we anticipate that tethered cord surgery is in the not to distant future. but otherwise school is going ok. she has an amazing support system of friends and teachers that adore her! it didnt take long. she wants to start skiing again and i sincerely hope that works out this season.

and for now that is all i have to give and spit out. so much to do, so little time. warm regards and gratitude for all of you.