family pic

family pic

Thursday, April 29, 2010

celebrating life


this is UCSF the hospital i lived in for the better part of the 2003 year. this has been on my mind because you see this ...


was born yesterday 7 years ago on april 28 2003. yes my baby saylor is 7! i can hardly believe, well in fact i dont want to believe it! this time of year gets me so nostalgic, reflecting on what we went through and the things we continue to go through. its a time of reflection and honestly immense gratitude for this amazing experience in my life. my life, our lives really revolve around this little angel in our home. I and therefor we would not be who we are individually or as a family without the circumstances that all this represents. often people ask me how we do this ... and you know what i wish that everyone could do this. i realize that its not true that everyone really can do it, but i wish this on everyone i care about. strange i know, but this is a beautiful life that brings blessings abound that are simply not experienced in any other way. truth be told you all are missing out!!! thats the simplicity of it all.

i do wonder why me? and not in the way you think, i am up for the challenge i can see the importance that it plays in my life, but am i up for the priviledge, responsibility and trust? its hard to not question how i became the chosen recepient to mother a spirit that is not containable and is immortal, larger then life here on earth, something seeeeeeringly special? i really do wonder, i dont feel good enough and though i used to question by adequacy i have learned that HE makes me adequate. but i will never know why me ...

saylor is happy and healthy and doing fantastic. we were able to get her a bike that she can actually ride! its tear jerking to watch it makes me so happy to see her do something "normal" in the realm of her "abnormal" life that she is becoming increasingly aware of. {pictures to come}

this day brought about a lot of emotion as we also attended the funeral of a young boy who was also disabled. he RUNS pain free now. but it really brings home the frailty of a bright star and how easily that could have been my baby. a life celebrated and shared for such a short time. amazing parents, amazing family, amazing blessings. and with it comes amazing heartache. i hope the petersons know they are in our prayers and that they made us that much more aware of how blessed we are! we love our kids a little more today if thats even possible.

Monday, April 12, 2010

saylor the olympain part deux!

i know i know you all have been anxiously waiting for this follow up post on the steve young ski classic. and here it is. i finally got around to it. i just wanted to ride the high wave we were on until it fizzled. just enjoy it you know ... usually for me that means sharing it but some parts i just wanted to keep to myself for a bit.

so our private invite came from mark fox @ twin labs who so graciously donated 2 seats to our family at his table. so we had to decide who would go. i kind of knew all along i would end up going, i could feel it in my bones, like when people asked if were going even before i knew we were it seemed wrong to say no. but of course i did say no at the time. so nate and i talked it over and he said he thought i should go, and i felt really guilty that more often then not i get all the parent glory being the mom and all so i said well ask saylor let her decide. and truth be told if its something fun i would expect her to pick him. but she picked me this time. and it felt so right to everyone. although i was a little torn that we wouldnt all be experiencing this together.

later while getting ready i have this overwhelming feeling that i should be prepared to say something in front of all these people, which i quickly excuse as nonsense ... but then i know better dont i?

saylor & arrive at snowbird that evening and she is all smiles, still on huge high from the day. i keep thinking she must be exhausted but somehow she is not. we start mingling and checking out the silent auction. she is most definately one of only a few kids there and the smallest by far so she gets overwhelmed walking around. there is celebrity athletes all around us. we run into this guy and i am so emberassed to say i dont know who he is but i know he won a gold medal in the vancouver games ... so he lets saylor wear it!

super heavy, super cool!

we continue to mingle and finally we get to go sit at our table. i feel so silly and kind of nervous, out of place. we had bidding numbers (everyone did) and i have this small kid with me this small miracle, this small celebrity. people are just gravitating to her, i am so overwhelmed and she is just eating it up and people are just adoring her right and left.

we take a seat and no sooner do i that one of the directors of the program comes up to me and asks if i will speak ... yep. knew that was coming. a few min later barbara young comes over and tells me how she is supposed to speak and how she has been thinking about what to say and how to say it and how glad she is i am here because she wants to follow the winter games theme of paying hommage to the moms. so she says i want me to speak. ok. well i knew it was coming so i gladly oblige and feel all those butterflies start to flutter but then it all gets peaceful and i feel fine.

people start to arrive at our table and saylor starts making friends as usual. she met this great guy garry pay a former BYU football player and a VP at twin labs. she wont leave him alone and he seems to be happy to revert his age back and accomodate her playfullness.

people are just coming to our table right and left to talk to saylor and meet her. videos are playing of saylor and some of the other participants and hers are by far the cutest most touching ... well i am a bit bias, but really we know her right, we know what she eminates!

so then the time comes. barbara gets up and eloquently shares that she doesnt know what its like to be the mother of a special olympain and asks us to come up. saylor gets up on a stool next to me at the podium and promptly but discreetly asks me please do not cry, i promise her i will do my best to hold it in.

but just as i start to speak i of course start to cry. saylor reaches out and starts rubbing my back and the entire audience of i dont know 700 or peeps or sighs at the same time. and we both giggle. i share a brief history on saylor and some in depth gratitude for wasatch adaptive sports and what they have done and continue to do for saylor and how we couldnt do this on our own physically or financially. who knows what i said, you for sure sit down after that and think what did i say? but the difference was this time around i didnt feel like an idiot. i felt like what i said was the right thing, whatever it was.

on my way down right there at the front next to the podium first table, dick bass the owner of snowbird .. the owner peeps ... the OWNER takes my hand and with tears in his eyes smiles and tells me thank you. that felt like a million bucks ... he probably doesnt know that he wears off so easy.

we continue to be swarmed. and saylor is far to distracted to eat her $300+ plate of food. but i enjoy it:) and she continues to enjoy the attention. we meet tons more athletes and just lots of people coming up to thank us for sharing our story etc. it was so nice. i felt so good. i have always believed in sharing her. but this really felt good. one olympian in particular .... couldnt stay away from saylor ..

lincoln dewitt ... just keeps coming to our table. stays a few min and goofs with saylor then goes right back to his table, only to come back a few min later again. it takes me a few times to realize that its not in passing. he is going back and forth just to interact with her ... smitten clearly. they share stories and laugh and play a little. so many smitten faces around us. she is eating it up. sharing her medal and stories. laughing. its so fabulous. even know weeks later i sound and type like a little girl retelling the story of a fantastic night.

it truly was just so fantastic! saylor & brought home autographed chad lewis books and a goodie bag which then allowed nate and i to hit snowbird for a day ... man was that the most epic boarding day of my life! it extended the high tremendously as i explored 4 feet of fresh untracked powder in mineral basin with the love of my life. bliss!!!!!!

we met lots of people who i think in the future will play a part in our story, who have meaning to add to our story and support and i am so grateful. and so our story continues ...

i would dare catch you up but arent you tired of reading about us yet? that will have to wait for another time because there really is so much other stuff going on good and bad.

that being said one more medal pic ... this is saylor wearing henry cejudo's (gold medal winning wrestler) gold medal at lunch this last weekend. we got to spend some fun times with this delightful young champ!

it was more of a boy wrestling stock thing but who says the girls cant reap the benefits?