celebrating life

this is UCSF the hospital i lived in for the better part of the 2003 year. this has been on my mind because you see this ...


was born yesterday 7 years ago on april 28 2003. yes my baby saylor is 7! i can hardly believe, well in fact i dont want to believe it! this time of year gets me so nostalgic, reflecting on what we went through and the things we continue to go through. its a time of reflection and honestly immense gratitude for this amazing experience in my life. my life, our lives really revolve around this little angel in our home. I and therefor we would not be who we are individually or as a family without the circumstances that all this represents. often people ask me how we do this ... and you know what i wish that everyone could do this. i realize that its not true that everyone really can do it, but i wish this on everyone i care about. strange i know, but this is a beautiful life that brings blessings abound that are simply not experienced in any other way. truth be told you all are missing out!!! thats the simplicity of it all.

i do wonder why me? and not in the way you think, i am up for the challenge i can see the importance that it plays in my life, but am i up for the priviledge, responsibility and trust? its hard to not question how i became the chosen recepient to mother a spirit that is not containable and is immortal, larger then life here on earth, something seeeeeeringly special? i really do wonder, i dont feel good enough and though i used to question by adequacy i have learned that HE makes me adequate. but i will never know why me ...

saylor is happy and healthy and doing fantastic. we were able to get her a bike that she can actually ride! its tear jerking to watch it makes me so happy to see her do something "normal" in the realm of her "abnormal" life that she is becoming increasingly aware of. {pictures to come}

this day brought about a lot of emotion as we also attended the funeral of a young boy who was also disabled. he RUNS pain free now. but it really brings home the frailty of a bright star and how easily that could have been my baby. a life celebrated and shared for such a short time. amazing parents, amazing family, amazing blessings. and with it comes amazing heartache. i hope the petersons know they are in our prayers and that they made us that much more aware of how blessed we are! we love our kids a little more today if thats even possible.