bibidee bobidee boo ball

remember the ball gown shopping? it was all for this magical night!

high heels

have you ever thought about high heels? i have. and today my perspective has changed. last night i was talking to a 21 year old woman with spina bifida. it was a priceless conversation. i can think of no better person on earth to help me down the path with saylor then one that has gone before her. she mentioned something that really was tugging at her precious heart. she said the thing that bugs her the most is high heels. "i just want to wear high heels, dress fancy, and be beautiful." her words have yet to flee my thoughts. a very profound thing. makes me feel so ungrateful for so many things that i take for granted. i started to think about how i cant stand that saylor cant wear cute shoes already but i hadnt thought ahead of time to when it will become her desire not mine. then my mind drifted to my own struggle with my own appearance and body and i felt so overwhelmed with guilt ... what do i have to whine about? i can wear high heels.

studio production ... in production

this is my hunky hub producing a studio. what? you say. well my design studio (where the actual magic happens) has never really functioned ideally. dont get me wrong a lot of magic has come out of there. it does its job, but not efficiently. i havent wanted to build it into productiveness because i had hoped to sell this house and it seems silly to put more money into it that doesnt increase equity. well 2 years of trying to sell here and there has come and gone. and its time to be more productive! so the studio is in production .... more to come!

when its dark enough

"when its dark enough, you can see the stars."
Persian Proverb



this was the quote that headed the first chapter of the book i am reading.... Three Cups of Tea

i have ventured hardly farther into the book then just this first page. i cant. i am consumed by how this is an analogy to my life. things are dark, as dark as they ever have been right now. i find myself struggling to just even be, or to breath through it. i feel like saylor's care is not being managed nor is it under control or going the way i think it should and the everday downfalls of spina bifida are hurting & affecting my heart more then ever before. she seems unphased by it all, perhaps unaware of the complexity and depth. i can not remember a more difficult financial time in my adult life then now. and finances are something that really irritate me when out of control or debtful. i cant seem to accomplish all that i want to these days, not even the simple things. let alone my more loftier goals ... and then there is just my self image ... oh boy ... we wont go there but its deeply affecting me and i feel incapable and helpless. i realize if i will just open my eyes and see the stars that light and love will envelope me. i see them .. i do. but sometimes i forget and get lost in the deep vast darkness between the light. its hard to stay focused. there is opposition to all things and just as darkness and discouragement have befallen me i also have much to be grateful for as blessings shower me. its a strange world.

my blessings .... not one but two recent temple visits both profound and unforgetable. one of which was in attendance of my brother who was taking his endowments out for the first time. its hard to explain how abnormally amazing this is, but it is. i couldnt be more pleased to see his example and be part of his life.

my husband who i cherish more now then ever before. we have been through so much. i need him. i want him! he is a part of me.

my kids of course!

my friends. i have amazing friends. lots of them. and so many that i am truely and genuinly close to, those that i cherish beyond comprehension that carry me in many ways through life.

and the stars are endless as are the blessing. i am just ready for the sun, for a little while.

im giving my work away ....

know anyone getting married? send them to my blog for info on an amazing deal ... i am pretty much giving my work away!

my dear muffin top

(this is not me of course ... i would never show you mine!)

my dear muffin top, oh how you make me sad. i have tried and tried to eat you away but you only grow larger ....

my aunt

Gayle Lynn Murphy Cornaby
Gayle Lynn

Murphy Cornaby

Gayle Lynn Murphy Cornaby passed away Saturday morning, February 21st, after a courageous 7 year battle with cancer and Cushing disease. She had just celebrated her 58th birthday on Thursday surrounded by family, neighbors and co-workers. She was born on the 19th of February 1951 in Provo, Utah to Joseph Robison and Loneta Mangus Murphy and then moved to Lincoln, Nebraska where her family resided until 1961. The family spent the next 15 summers residing in Yellowstone Park where Gayle's father served as a Ranger Naturalist. She attended elementary school in Lincoln and Orem after the family returned to Utah. Gayle attended BY High through 1967 and then graduated from Provo High in 1969. She began her career at age 21 at the Utah Valley Regional Medical Center as a unit secretary in the Mother-Baby dept. and served there faithfully for 37 years until the time of her death. She was grateful to her supervisors for allowing her to continue there during many months of chemotherapy during the last few years.

Gayle married Kaye Cornaby in 1971 and they were later sealed in the Salt Lake Temple in 1978. They have lived in both Provo and Orem where they raised 3 children: son Brandon (wife Cindy), son Brice (Stacey) and daughter Breann (Derek Olsen). Gayle was extremely proud of her 10 grandchildren and loved to spend time with them in her home whenever possible. She loved to travel with her family and continued a tradition of annual trips to Yellowstone and Grand Teton Parks with all the grandkids and many time her siblings and extended family members. Her favorite retreat the last few years has been to Palm Springs, Calif. to spend winter days relaxing in the warm sunshine at the home of her brother David and his partner Glenn Texeira - whom she considered "another brother." Her hobbies were photography and family and she devoted all of her spare time to recording their activities and then sharing these memories with others. In addition to her husband Kaye, children and grandchildren, she is survived by her : brothers Joel (Sharon), Robert, David (Glenn ), Phil (Miriam) Murphy; sister-in law Dawn (Bill) Aaron., mother-in-law Dorris Cornaby, and sister-n-laws Colleen(Charles) Jarvis and Collette Thomas, uncles Don Murphy, LeRoy Mangus, Wally Mangus and aunts Rebecca Sutton and Jewell Hepworth. She has numerous nieces, nephews and cousins who have been a tremendous source of love and strength for her over the years. She was preceded in death by a grandson Dustin, both parents Joe and Loneta, and all of her grandparents. Her "extended family" has been her co-workers at UVRMC who have shown love and compassion toward her during her final stages of this difficult journey. The family also wishes to express our deepest gratitude to Dr. Wendy Breyer and her entire staff at the IHC Cancer facility in American Fork for their tender care for Gayle.

Funeral services for Gayle will be Thursday, Feb. 26 at 11 am at the Heather Ridge 1st Ward Chapel, 450 E. 2000 North in Orem. Viewing will be at the Walker Sanderson Funeral Home, 646 E. 800 North in Orem on Wednesday, the 25, from 6 to 8 pm and from 9 - 10:30 am at the chapel the morning of the services. Interment will be in the Orem City Cemetery.