home ... no wait ... ok now

I am scared to even say the words WE ARE HOME for fear that we will be jinxed. we came home late thur night only to return friday afternoon as a result of some potentially serious complications. we are back home and plummeting to the ground with exhaustion as the adrenaline of the day wears off.

last night was beautiful. it felt so good to be home. saylor went to sleep at around 11pm (way early for her) and she slept through the night except when nate woke her to take pain meds, even then she went right back to sleep. nate sleeps like a rock and its actually pretty rare for him to help with the kiddos in the night but he did last night all night, what a hero. i got a good nights sleep and it was a good thing! this morning was a little unnerving with the hustle to get the other two to school, something i am not used to yet, and everything in order and be saylors full time nurse. at about 1:30 saylor started crying that she was pain, it escalated a little so i undid her diaper to resolve the matter. no poop but some gauze had been swallowed up into an incision a tad bit. so i tried to pull it out but she was in too much pain and i couldnt hold her down and pull it out so i called for reinforcements and my mom came up. we got it out and got her somewhat calm. we got into my bed and i tried soothing her to sleep. she was only calm for about 15 min and kept kicking her legs like she had restless leg syndrome or something. i could see she was still in pain. then more crying that over an hour escalated into severe shaking and screaming. i called her surgeon at PCMC who instructed me to head back. so i scrambled to get someone to take the kids and some stuff together and her in the car. all the while on the phone with nate while i panicked a little. Her draining tube was not draining so it didnt take long for nate to realize the pain was build up of too much urine in her tattered bladder and that we had to get it out before it ruptured (potentially the worst thing ever, could leave us worse of then before) so the plan was to pull over to the side of the road and try and unlock her locked catheter. i couldnt get it. so i kept driving to nate who was about half way to PCMC at work. he jumped in the car very literally on the side of the freeway where he got dropped off and proceeded to try and get the locked cap off and thank goodness he did, i had a strong feeling our time was short and i was starting to shake really bad myself. we decided to keep going to PCMC with a broken drain and a not supposed to be open drain. saylor calmed right down, her pain was relieved and she was happy again. we got there and waited for about 2 hours for her surgeon to get out of surgery. he would have come sooner but got word from another doc who saw us right when we came in that saylor was more stable now as a result of something crazy her parents did in the car on the way. when he came in he pronounced nate brilliant! i agree ... he saved her! then he fixed her SP tube so it would drain, it had a huge clot blocking it! we came up with a care plane to hopefully prevent this from happening again. we also came to the realization when she was hurting just a little in the beginning that this was a good sign, a sign that she could feel when she was full, that she has feeling down there is such a great thing. we have never known how much feeling she had and most SB kids dont have much. so this was about the only good thing that came of this scenario and its probably something we would have learned down the road anyhow, oh well i guess just some silver lining.

in the end i know the fierce prayers i was offering through tears and driving where answered and a potentially very serious situation was evaded with the help of our Heavenly Father. how grateful i am for Nate ... he really is my HERO! our HERO!