family pic

family pic

Monday, September 5, 2011

Beauty & Drool

When I was pregnant back yonder in the younger days one of my closest friends told me about this book, "The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy: or everything your doctor wont tell you" and though I meant to read it this time around {I did read it last time}, I never got to it. But I haven't forgotten the gift that it was to me, it truly has stuck with me through all these years! I remember distinctly thinking "I wish I had had this book with my first baby or that someone would have told me it was all going to be like this!" This book really gets down to the nitty gritty of what it really IS to be pregnant! Because the day in and day out IS not what your doctor tells you. Its all the little things that change every facet of your body, mind, strength, and spirit. Some are less then graceful and beautiful, but they all make up the cumulative beauty that IS pregnancy, the creation of life!

To express the beauty of pregnancy coupled with some of those less talked about things, I thought I would create a unique and raw post for you. I never took maternity pics with any of my 3 previous pregnancies. I literally {no joke take a look at some of my raw fb pics ... } am one of the very least photogenic people in the universe. On top of that, I dont handle viewing myself all that well so this seemed like a no brainer ... maternity pics are OUT! But as this pregnancy progressed and knowing that I have matured a great deal, I couldn't help but want to consider it. Because this IS beautiful, even if its not photogenic. In fact I find it to be so incredibly beautiful, especially considering the physical challenge that it brings me specifically that I wavered my decision a little and decided that maternity pics are ON! After seeking out just a few of my most favorite photogs for advice and inquiry I then flopped again to the other side of the fence and decided not to do it, until that is, my loving photog friend Angie convinced me to do it with a sacred oath of private security upon the shoot and the images. We had a great time at our little shoot and Angie made me feel so comfortable and beautiful. It wasn't long before I was so grateful that I did this! So mixed with the beauty {edited} that the talented Angie of Sweet Memory Gardens captured of me and baby, you will find grueling text about some of the specific nitty gritties of this pregnancy, things a doc would never tell you, but things a girlfriend should!

DrOOL: I picked this image for this topic because of how the two conflict and contradict each other. A little sexy right? Well drooling is NOT sexy! I cannot recall the need for excessive saliva in baby baking. Since when was that an ingredient? It never was for my other 3 and they turned out just fine! This time around I cant seem to stop the flow! Waking up in pools of drool next to the man you love wont likely create feelings of beauty or intimacy for either one of you! Not to mention waking up from a nap with a soaked sleeve or shoulder ... never in my life have I had to change clothes mid-day for this type of problem! Not to mention the sudden need to swallow more frequently while in conversation to reduce the incidence of spitting! Couldn't get more real then that right? Apparently I am not the only one because limitless baby/pregnancy websites list and discuss this issue. Good to know I am not a lone, still not liking this added ingredient. What I have learned: It actually has a medical terminology, go figure! Welcome to the unpleasant side effect known as ptyalism or sialorrhea. Also apparently more common in women with more sever cases of morning sickness. {or in other words throw-up all day long sickness, or in my case even all night long!}

CRaVINGS: I am writing about this only because I think its one of THE most common questions that befall an expecting mother, and I have been asked my fair share. I have a sweet tooth on a regular basis anyhow but pregnancy does not usually magnify that for me. In fact some of you might already know that with Stock I ate a lot of mayonnaise! PLAIN! This time around vanilla has been the flavor of choice. But not just any vanilla, quality counts! Costco has delivered every time with their Kirkland brand vanilla ice-cream. I also have been known to eat a Haagan Daz bar {or two} a day! And for a few weeks somewhere in there I really enjoyed SCORE bars. As of late though the amount of food of any kind consumed by me and the baby has decreased and the level of ICE has increased. I am not an ICE person, I typically like low ice in all my drinks, the cold typically bothers my veneers. And I have never been known to chew ice for pleasure, but here I am chewing endless bags of ice away.

How many times do you PEE in the night?: My dark hours are about as comfortable as laying on a bed of rocks! Actually I was really delighted with the outcome of my willingness to lay on this creek side stone beach. And in reality my night routine is much more unbearable then getting this picture was or ever could be. I am not sure if its my age this time around, or damage done to my inner urinary organs during fetal surgery and emergency delivery, or if its just the position of this particular baby, or a combo of all sorts of elements but I feel about 90 years old with a 100% incompetent bladder. I swear to you that not a night has passed in the last 6 months that I have gone to the bathroom less then 10 times between 10pm and 7am. Who does that?! And can live with it long term?! Honestly I truly have considered a catheter its that bad!

Non Stress Test ARE actually STRESSful: Like many high risk expectant moms as I have gotten down to the wire it has been a weekly requirement to undergo NST's & AFI's. The more I do, the more I feel that they cause more stress then actually monitor stress. Having in depth ultrasounds on the same day adjacent to the AFI has made me realize that the fluid measurement is likely not accurate, so why do it? And 20 min of rushed monitoring does not equate to a definitive answer of contracting or not. Not to mention for me the drive to and from st marks in constant construction helps out my stress level a ton!

HuMAN oVEN: It is in fact true that a pregnant woman runs a few degrees hotter then the rest of us non baking ovens walking around. And anyone intentionally planning a summer pregnancy is truly INSANE! Because this has been downright nearly unbearable! I am just one big ball of hot sweaty mess!

HYPERventilation?!: I pretty continuously have a tingling feeling in my face. Which i have been told is some kind of hyperventilation. I am so bothered by the idea of mis-diagnosis and not being listened too. On the flip side I have learned over the years {especially with saylor} that I am also very bothered by subjection to mass quantities of tests to determine a culprit of a specific kind. I feel this in the calmest of times and for a long duration. I have tried taking deep breaths, short breaths, any kind of breaths you can think of. And yet the tingling persists. I have to admit its far better then the "vaginal spasms" some idiot doc diagnosed me with while pregnant with saylor.

HoW DO U answer THAT ??: So I get asked a lot, "how are you doing?" or "how are you feeling?" And genuinely it is in no way the question that bothers me, in fact I really appreciate the genuine sincerity of those that truly care about how I am. Its the answer that bothers me. How does one answer that question when they feel like I do? With grace and honesty both at the same time? My life is bi-polar actually. In any given moment I can feel elated by the miracle of life moving inside of me and then tortured by the pain it creates. That is how I feel, for those of you that are wondering.

I'll leave you with just those few gritties and save the most disturbing ones for those "girlfriend" conversations. In the end this has been a pregnancy well accomplished. I have made it further then anyone involved anticipated, and without being in bed! {Though not without restrictions, meds, and pain!} I worked nearly till the end ... ok in some regards I am even still working :) and have managed 3 other kids with craaaazy schedules and an even busier husband! Baking this baby boy has been a joy for the most part, a blessing beyond measure, and an assurance of who I am and want to be. I have enjoyed this pregnancy more thoroughly then ever before and in many ways look with ill anticipation to it's end. The movement inside me, a constant miracle and feeling unlike anything else will be so missed and yet his arrival will be such a relief!

All images courtesy of: Sweet Memory Garden