If you look hard enough there is always a way through it

I haven't blogged here for nearly a year, its been quiet some time. I understand why and what happened but find it hard to put into words. I suppose some of it is the death of the blog trend, even just now when I went through my blog reads I found that I wasn't the only one who had abandoned this hobby. I also just needed some privacy and initially I wasn't sure why, but I completely understand now, preemptive inspiration I suppose. I could let sleeping dogs lie, but then just in the last few days 3 separate people in 3 separate circumstances asked me why I dont blog anymore and expressed interest in my words. It made me think .... and yet I am not sure I have even made a decision as of yet. But for now ill start with a single post.

How do I begin to catch up a years worth of events, an eventful year at that, or do I even begin? keep it simple  ...

1. it dates back to a move from provo to lehi on the last day of school - may 2012 

2. a summer of working on the new house and trying to find home ... which I am not sure we have found yet 

3. Meeting this young man changed our family dynamic and all of our lives

4. going back to this holy place as a family - a spiritually epic journey

5. this kid turning 1 and learning to walk 

6. this kid remaining in our lives

7. these cuties all starting school at a new school with all new peeps. including one in jr high

8. getting in a pretty serious accident on the freeway and surviving all while at the exact same moment

9. Nate shot this 

10- this one is growing up too fast

11. this one finally agrees to be a sailor for halloween ... because what else should she be right?

12. This one is a football .. because that makes the most sense

13. we attempted family pics for the first time in a really long time - it was CHAOS - my sincere appreciation for Lindsey Shaun

14. Thanksgiving rolls around and this amazing kid is STILL in our lives somehow even though it doesnt make sense 

15. the gratitude tree prevails, traditions stay alive despite the struggle 

16. we go on a trip for christmas 

17. we hit the bowl game - you know because we bleed blue but also for that special kid in our lives!

18. After a bought with Nox at Scripps hospital SD we finally hit disney were I neglect to take any pictures epic fail as mom right? 

19. stock continues to wrestle, and to win of course. Ugly trohpies like this one

20. Nox goes to work with mom and gets it done too

21. duck dynasty becomes a family obsession

22. I begin to struggle with some serious medical issues and the journey of emotional and physical pain for many weeks to come begins

23. saylor and I visit the olympic park in PC where we film a winter olympic 2014 Procter and gamble commercial

24. I turn another year older on the day it rains acid and I loose my wedding band - only to find in 9 weeks later

25. enter this kid and again our family grows

26. another surgery for me .. because that is how we roll

27. Nate and I try to remember and attend the temple. Looking for light. Because if you look hard enough there is always a way through it. 

28. the harlem shake ... enough said. 

29. Studio Stems & UBB continue to flourish and I continue to work through all this hard time, somehow

30. Nox concludes a nearly 6 month long journey with constant ear infections with the insertion of tubes ... finally. this is just a small fraction of the general illness that befalls us in the early 2013 year, we run the ring multiple times with stomach flu and severe colds. 

31. My health takes a unique turn, all this junk leads to some discoveries about me that suddenly make sense out of a lot of ailments and hope begins to shine as I get treatment and work towards a healthier body, mind, spirit, soul and toe! 

32. nate would be number 32 ... all the while this amazing man stands by my side as we journey this all together. 

* I would like to thank my smart phone and instagram for making this all possible! along with jay moriarity for reminding me that if you look hard enough there is always a way through it. bitter sweet lessons learned this last year. amazing things and hard things befall.