We finally know whats going on with saylor and her bladder reconstruction and so we finally know whats going on with our lives.
so this may be a long boring post full of my usual grammatical errors so read it if you like and if you dont then i guess you will either here it from us sooner or later or hear it through the grapevine.
i feel so extremely relieved in so many ways to just KNOW so i can deal with it. in others i feel very scared and emotional. this has been a very spiritual experience and process as it always is with her. For a few weeks now i have been overwhelmed with the responsibility of making this life decision, i have worked on handing it over to God and giving her back to Him, submitting to His will and hoping that doesnt mean she will really be returning to His presence anytime soon. So many of our family aspects of life feed into this situation and its so complicated and so risky. I have prayed my little heart out that it will all fall into place just as it should be, and that i will be able to accept whatever that "just as it should be" is. i have given requests to my kind loving Heavenly Father and some of them He has not granted, for good reason i am sure, and some He has. Today at the hospital i felt very inline with His will for her. though i am filled with emotion i know we have made the right decision, together as a 4some (saylor, nate, me, and God) ok and maybe some docs too!
so Saylor will be admitted to primary childrens medical center on aug 13th for some preop procedures and the surgery that they call "the big boy" will take place on the 14th. she will stay at least a week and come home with medical equipment hanging out of her body and parents who are supposed to be capable of being a home health care nurse etc... which we totally are by now cause we have honorary medical degrees we arent just nurses we are like almost docs! and i am pretty sure i own a wing or at least a few rooms at the hospital too! so that makes me a benefactor right? JK i am buying her life everyday and its SOOOO worth it!
we will use this blog to keep you updated. i will take the camera and the laptop to the hospital and i am sure post everyday. there is only so much to do in that same room all day everyday for a week or so. we would love any visitors that would like to come bearing anything they want to bring! just not on the 13th or 14th. the recovery is long and hard so she will enjoy visitors and things to do and people to talk to for months to come i am sure.
thank you again and endlessly for all the faith, prayers, love, and support!