family pic

family pic

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

reflection and inspiration

Today i was going to post another halloween craft ... until i woke up. it didnt feel right. i wanted to share with you the world the immense amount of joy that has flooded through my body since sunday night and share some insiration things with you. i know i have gotten so mushy!

Sunday evening i was cathing saylor in preperation for a bit O family time. suddenly i looked into her face and noticed the things i love about it, her soft, flawless, almost translucent like an angel skin, her darling jawline that creates the cutest reese witherspoon chin, her gorgeous blue eyes that resinate wisdom and the lashes that frame them, and last but not list her ever knowing smile. i realized that not so long ago i had feared that i wouldnt be able to look into this face much longer. the wave of rememberance hit me, the recollection of my deepest fears suddenly came and then evaded just as quickly as i found my self stunned that i was indeed looking her, and she was smiling and she was happy, i had not destroyed her after all! it was an ocean deep feeling of gratitude. i am trying to carry it with me for as long as the wave will allow. as we come out the end of this ride i have been reflecting on who has inspired me. lots of friends, family, and loved ones. but two that really stand out to me are for the most part strangers going through their own tragedies, and they are doing it with nothing less then perfect grace!

this is ky. she has VACTERL i encourage you to visit her family blog here and read all about her because an explanaition here seems daunting. Amber's writing is real, raw, and eloquent and something i can identify with. i have a deep respect, admirition, and love for amber, ky, and their family even though we are many many miles apart and have never met. she has inspired me to stay strong and to continue to pray for others, to be aware of who is experiencing so much more and that they are handling it. i have so many thoughts about my relationship and how strengthening it is but i find myself selfishly wanting to keep them secret and sacred. visit their blog and let them inspire you.

second is this blog ... read here. & of course this one.
thats right i am jumping on the nie nie train. actually i have been riding for some time now. what an AMAZING story of how the blogging world connects us, uplifts us, encourages us, supports each other and on and on. these two women are nothing short of heroic! i can only aspire to be who they are. not a day has passed me by in weeks that i havent thought of this family and of stephanie. i wonder if she will ever comprehend how far reaching her spirit has ventured, how many people she has inspired, what magical things she has done. she must seriously be "the queen" in heaven!

next is a book that i continually draw on in hard times ...
if you are suffering this book will lead to unloading your burden! that is if you dont understand how to do it on your own, sometimes i do and sometimes i dont depends on how cloudy the day is. if you know someone who is suffering go get this for them, get it for yourself too! your time will come, it does for all of us. maybe it comes on varying levels or degrees but it comes and i think that it feels almost the same. i dont like it when people think that nate and i have been given a larger pile of crap ... we havent. in fact i think just the opposite we have been given a larger pile of bliss and it requires some dirty work to keep it here with us. that being said its all about how you choose to do the work that makes all the difference.

lastly for today because i must go work on dinner. another book ....

an inspiring look into your own personal health! LOVED IT! it also contained this poem - author unknown
it takes strength to be firm but courage to be gentle
it takes strength to stand guard but courage to let your guard down
it takes strength to conquer but courage to surrender
it takes strength to be certain but courage to have doubt
it takes strength to fit in but courage to stand out
it takes strength to feel a friends pain but courage to feel your own
it takes strength to hide your own pain but courage to show it
it takes strength to endure abuse it takes courage to stop it
it takes strength to stand alone but courage to lean on another
it takes strength to love but courage to be loved
it takes strength to survive but courage to live

enough said!


Engrained Emotions said...

a- how crazy it is that i feel so connected to you. we have so many things in common, yet so different. i have been watching ky's blog for a while, (i think i mentioned it in a convo at the hospital, but not the name, just the situation). her mom inspires me, my heart aches for her, for what she must do, and know and organize, and yet she displays a slight vulnerabity!

your description of saylor is what i see too! her eyes; like i have said before penetrate my very being. i am drawn to her strength and innocence.

you are an amazing mom,friend, and daughter of God. thank you for all you do, for allowing me to peek into your life.

love you!

Tiff said...

Audrey -
I just wanted to tell you I love reading your blog you are so inspiring and have such words of wisdom I am definetly going to go get that book to read I feel like I could really use that right now! Thank you so much! I am so glad Saylor is doing well you are an amazing mom!

Amber Schmidt said...

imagine my surprise to come upon your blog today and find my princess ky gracing today's posting!! I always wonder who is really out there reading our blog... it blows my mind to know that people who have never met me actually care anything about our crazy mess of a life.

thank you for this... on a day that I was feeling very alone I no longer do...

thank you.

Davina said...

Wow! There are such amazing women in this world and you are one of them. I'm so glad to see that Saylor is home and that things are going so well! What a gift! I miss you all!